Confession: I’m not a real badass

Confession: I’m not a real badass

If you don’t know by now, I have issues with obsessions. I obsess over obsessions. I overthink and get fixated on things — like unicorns. Sometimes this is a good thing and gives me drive and focus. Sometimes it slows me down.  My current obsession is with being a badass, which, ya know, I already am, but sometimes I forget.

I have been really preoccupied with my body, honestly for a long time. But, the current obsession goes beyond my usual distorted body image. I want to be a badass because I want to be respected. I want to have a fitness blog that people follow. I want to be someone that inspires people. I have been admiring women bodybuilders and thinking gosh I am such a beginner. My body sucks. Nobody is ever going to be inspired by me. I’m just a regular looking mom, who is nothing. See that’s the freaking aliens talking to me!!!

I have thought about and thought and thought about what I want to do with this blog, with my life, with my fitness, with my goals.  I have woken up in the middle of the night thinking about this. I remember doing this when I was building my website. I remember thinking, what do I know about websites and looking at all the competition thinking who do I think I am?  And I remember that feeling of trying to be a “supermom”.   What I learned from that experience was that my strength isn’t in being a badass that has all her shit together. My strength is in being relatable.

I am a strong, driven, motivated, person. I am constantly trying to be the best at things.  However, I realized this morning that I don’t want to be a bodybuilder. I don’t want to compete on that level. I want to be an inspiration to myself and other people to get healthier. And be a badass by being my own kind of badass. How I measure myself is not by just my physical appearance. I want my body and mind to be strong and I want to help other people by setting a good example.  This blog is my baby. It’s not just about fitness. It’s about becoming a stronger person, inside and out, developing inner peace, and loving yourself.  That’s what a badass unicorn is really all about.  Keep it up you crazy little unicorn badass. You got this!

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